Every year a select number of state schools are held up as examples of what can be achieved with the “right” sort of leadership or teaching styles - with the insinuation that others are failing their pupils by not doing the same to achieve similar results.
After all, they all teach the same national curriculum, sit the same examination boards and recruit from the exact same pool of teachers.
Yet such comparisons miss one of the most fundamental truths of how elite performance is engineered in modern education: that the real differentiator isn’t a secret pedagogical technique or a revolutionary behaviour policy, but the parents behind the pupils.
Subtle school selection processes
Of course, successful state schools will say they are open to everyone and, legally speaking, that is true. But heads of these institutions do not rely on legal selection; they rely on psychological selection that filters for the “right” sort of parents to help them in their quest for top outcomes.
Consider the mechanisms. A high-performing comprehensive may not be able to turn down a pupil based on an 11-plus score, but it can engineer an admissions funnel that filters for parental commitment.
It can introduce a strict, highly specific uniform policy whereby blazer badges must be sourced from a single, expensive supplier.
It can mandate attendance at multiple pre-enrolment evenings, establish rigorous zero-tolerance conduct agreements that parents must sign in person or maintain an uncompromising stance on attendance and punctuality that deters families looking for low-friction options.
Attracting the ‘right’ parents
Over time this creates another barrier to some and a gateway for entry for others: house prices. Parents will stretch their mortgages to breaking point or sacrifice thousands to move across a street to secure a place within a target catchment.
For schools all this means you have effectively been able to curate a cohort of parents you know will support with homework, ensure strong attendance, extol the importance of revision and exam outcomes and generally play their part .
What’s more, that parental effort of engaging with their child, paying a premium on a mortgage, financing years of private 11-plus tutoring or navigating an intimidating onboarding regime has a clear psychological result on the child.
Before the pupil ever puts on the uniform, they have absorbed a defining message from their home: “This place matters. We sacrificed to get you here, and you will not waste it.”
Summoning an ally
In these schools, parents are fully bought into upholding the institution’s authority. When the school calls home, it is not making a routine enquiry - it is summoning an ally.
In these schools the threat of “I’m going to call your parents” will land with immediate impact - not because of fear of physical reprisal but because their home environment actively reinforces the authority of the school.
As a leader, you know you can win that child over. In another school, though, the reaction will likely be a dismissive shrug and a sharp response: “Go on then, call her. She hates you, too.”
In that exact moment the institutional authority of the school evaporates because it lacks the backing of the child’s primary sovereign: the parent.
Who believes in Santa Claus?
To appreciate the gravity of this dynamic, one must look at how deeply children internalise their parents’ beliefs, even when those beliefs defy reason. For that, consider Santa Claus.
Children are completely, unshakeably convinced that a red-suited man flies through the sky on a sleigh pulled by a magical reindeer. It is objectively absurd, yet millions of children believe it for years simply because their parents frame it as absolute truth.
If a parent’s framing can make a child believe in magic, imagine the psychological impact of a parent talking dismissively about a school.
A throwaway remark at the dinner table - ”The teachers there don’t have a clue” or “School was a waste of time for me, you’ll be fine” - acts as a quiet, steady erosion of institutional respect.
In an era where societal authority is no longer automatically assumed or respected, the psychological pull of the parent is paramount. If the home dismisses the school, the child will view its expectations as optional.
The uncomfortable truth
The uncomfortable truth for education policymakers is that high-performing schools rarely pass exams on their own - families pass them.
The heads who break records understand that their primary task isn’t just managing instruction inside the gates; it is managing the psychology outside of them.
Until we really recognise the power of parental buy-in, no amount of pedagogical innovation will close the gap between the schools
Hannah Carter is headteacher at Orchards Academy in Kent, part of The Kemnal Academies Trust
