This engaging and humorous assembly flips the usual wellbeing talk on its head. 7 Ways to Maximise Misery, it presents pupils with a satirical “manual” for unhappiness, highlighting habits such as procrastination, constant comparison, overthinking, and lack of sleep.

Delivered in a witty, ironic style, the assembly encourages students to laugh, reflect, and ultimately recognise the small daily choices that can either drag them down or build them up.

Resource includes:

Full assembly script (approx. 10–12 minutes)

Optional tutor time follow-up activity (15 mins) to reinforce reflection

Suitable for: KS4 / KS5 (particularly Year 11 and Sixth Form)
Length: 10–12 mins (assembly) + 15 mins (follow-up tutor activity)

Perfect for Heads of Year or pastoral leaders looking for a fresh, memorable assembly that balances humour with a powerful wellbeing message.